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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Maybe Today...

So much time has passed
Long and weary years, with vast distances traversed
I'm here, in the place I want to be
I'm free, and yet shackled by the chains of reality
Thin, like mist dispersing in the breaking of dawn
Disconnected, hurt, and withdrawn
I've fought so hard to get this far
To be here where I belong beneath these stars
I've relied upon every ounce of strength
I've emerged from hopelessness, resilient
I've gone on, when I could go on no more
Beaten down I've picked myself up off the floor
The fruition of hard work is never immediate
But, the blessings of commitment are their own reward.

My kaleidoscope no longer flutters so colorfully
I now approach everything pragmatically
There is a sadness beneath it all
But, what matters is the world beyond these walls
Responsibilities I embrace with a determination to succeed
Struggling to reconcile my emotional needs
Motivated by a desire to accomplish great things
The charge that the fragility of our existence brings
Wanting to simply love and be loved
That particular contentment that comes from above
I am torn by my life today
And the disregard to which I pay
The somberness that I feel inside
Something that can't really be specified
But, I have fought for my job, my life, my house, and financial security
The foundations upon which I can pursue prosperity
The building blocks to my future that now exceed the struggles of my family
Taking this for granted is not possible.

Maybe today my dreams are less romantic than yesterday
Maybe today will simply be an improvement on those before
Maybe today will leave me adrift and alone,
But, maybe today I will sail closer to my shore

Maybe today with my small steps, strength, and fight, a pathway will still emerge
And the voyage of yesterday, today, and tomorrow will merge
Into something that is well beyond my darkest days
A good life, with good people, surrounded by beauty, and many possibilities.

After all, who knows... Maybe today I'll be free
In a place I really want to be
A place of practicality, perpetual hope, security, and self esteem
Built, no longer upon just my dreams.


Blogger Carol said...

It's been a couple years since I last read your blog.. and nothing changes. You are still writing the most wonderful things that somehow seem be taken from the deepest abyss of my inconsolable self.
Be safe my friend

10:51 AM  

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